Author: michael

Ernest Borgnine 1917-2012

Mel – (screaming the whole time)

Why don’t I have a first draft of “The “Maccabees”?

What the fuck have you been doing?

I’ll type it!

— mumbling inaudible —

It’s her!

— mumbling inaudible —

I go to work, you’re getting paid, I’m not! Shit!

I am earning money for a filthy little cocksucker who takes advantage of me!

Just like every motherfucker!

So hurry the fuck up!

(Throwing things, knocking down the totem pole)

Fuck! God!

(Coming up from the billiard room and approaching the table and screaming at the top of his lungs in the face of his guests)

Who wants to eat?! Who the fuck wants to eat?! Go have something to eat! Hurrrrraaaaayyyyyy!

(Screaming)

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuckin’ hate!

Fucking cunt cocksucker whore!

(Very hoarse)

Fuck!

(Screaming as he runs toward the driveway, gets into his car and drives away)

(Sung to the tune of “Over There”)

I just watched Season 3 on DVD. I now officially don’t care any more…

I have given up cops, lawyers, crime scene technicians and doctors. All I watch now are cartoons. In addition to the happily resurrected Futurama on Comedy Central, I also recommend the CN shows Chowder and Flapjack . But the best of the lot may be Adventure Time . At first I disliked it, but then I submitted fully to its goofy surrealism. It’s totally original and fascinating.

For some reason I was expecting a dark, sullen psycho prone to fits of anger. Instead the Phil Spector featured in this documentary is a voluble nebbish, with a real sense of nerdy charisma and enthusiasm. The film rather awkwardly brings together three main threads here: a lengthy interview with Spector, clips from the first murder trial which ended in a hung jury and a chronological/musicological history of Spector’s life as a producer, from the Teddy Bears through to John Lennon and Tina Turner. Though the documentary has been highly acclaimed, I didn’t find it to be particularly well-made. The interview is far from incisive—it’s mostly prompts to allow Spector to make speeches and go on whatever tangent he likes. The courtroom segments are fragmentary and not particularly clear. The analysis of the various songs—with clips of full performances by the likes of The Ronettes, Righteous Brothers, Ike and Tina Turner, etc.—are probably the strongest part of the film, though their interest is self-generated rather than a feature of any element of the documentary. Mick Brown contributes some effusive capsule analyses of various noteworthy songs which emphasize the auteurist interpretation of Spector as a genius whose production work is more significant and consistent than the contributions of any individual performer. Continue reading The Agony and Ecstasy of Phil Spector

I am a sucker for post-apocalyptic films so I went to see The Book of Eli . (spoilers) About twenty minutes into this, maybe sooner, you begin to think “This can’t really be the premise for this movie. No, no, no. There’s got to be something more.” But there ain’t! and it doesn’t get any more nuanced, interesting or intelligent. It’s ridiculous and unconvincing and comes off like Fahrenheit 451 for the Fox News crowd. Mila Kunis, bless her, is more much convincing in That 70s Show where her valley intonations work. At least Susan George would have had a nude scene. Gary Oldman is a pock-marked dictator of a tiny town, which thrives in its own way because it has a reliable water source. At least he’s recovered from The Unborn . In case you don’t get it, the Hughes Brothers introduce him reading a copy of a biography of Mussolini. And there’s a twist, which I won’t ruin, but I will say that it is again unearned and ridiculous. Unfortunately, as post-apocalyptic fantasies go, this one lacks the zing of any of the Road Warrior movies or even any of the juicy pulpiness of those Charlton Heston 70s B-movies The Omega Man and Soylent Green . There is a single witty moment involving Anita Ward’s “Ring My Bell.” Amen.

I am curious how most of you view DVDs that come from other countries–do most of you have region-free players? If so, what?

I just purchased the comprehensive Laurel and Hardy collection from Amazon UK. It had been marked down from 100 pounds to 30. Of course, the USA doesn’t have such a thing available–it’s all the same two or three mediocre films in crappy editions. However, I can’t play these discs on any of my machines.

First I learned that one might “trick” the laptop software so that it plays all DVDs. I downloaded “AnyDVD” without success and then “Region-Free” software without success. Then I learned that my drive is notoriously resistant to this kind of software.

So what to do? The options are to purchase an external DVD drive for about $100, but I don’t know if there are any complications with the laptop software and hardware. Or to purchase a portable DVD player—10″ inch screens run about 100-150. Or to purchase a full-blown player…but from where? apparently not a single electronics store in my area sells “region-free” players. What’s the deal with that? My options are to go to JR in New York city or order online from Amazon, Overstock or 220 Electronics.

Recommendations? I have to start in on the 21 DVDs of Laurel and Hardy soon! Unfortunately the collection is not complete, though it includes most of their major films–however, it pointlessly includes colorized versions of these films? Who buys a set like this but demands that the originals are colorized?

Two great moments in Robert Altman films: Gibson as the sinister Dr. Verringer confronting and slapping the much bigger Roger Wade in The Long Goodbye ; Gibson as the vain and ridiculous country music ringmaster Haven Hamilton rising to the occasion and trying to reign in the chaos at the conclusion of Nashville

Zowie Bowie is all grown up and making movies now, under the name “Duncan Jones” (“Duncan, what the hell kind of name is that?? And, you are NOT going out looking like that. Get upstairs and put on your makeup and skintight leotard! We’re a skintight leotard family! Thank you, Kevin Meaney)

Moon is compelling and effective; however, its ambitions to being a major mind-trip space film don’t really measure up to other films you might be reminded of, such as 2001 , Solaris and even Silent Running (where the bee-dee bee-dee robot destroys all the greenhouses in space–though I might be wrong. I haven’t seen it in twenty five years and I get it confused with the Buck Rogers TV show). Sam Rockwell is very good, [vague SPOILERS AHEAD] especially in the long sections where he must interact with himself–a more wound-up and angry version of himself. The voice of Kevin Spacey, coming from “Gerty,” the robotic assistant is perhaps a bit unsettling–Gerty is a twist on HAL, in that he is a rather reasonable machine who really wants to help (or does he?). The premise for the film is rather perfunctory, suggesting an evil corporation, who, unlike the major university, never heard of just exploiting folks at low wages. In fact, there are many loose ends here, but I think you will enjoy the story, if you don’t overthink it, as well as the attempts to duplicate the feel and pace of 1960s/70s science fiction. In fact, I wish it had gone for more extended eerie trips through moonscapes–though that may have endangered too much its “limited run” at my local multiplex. Next up, Space Ossuary where Mick Jagger and David Bowie must join forces with Sally Field to counter osteoporosis.