Soviet Cinema and Soccer

After the despair that Chelsea fans (myself included) feel after last night’s Champions League final, at least an excuse to connect the loss to movies. Someone on a Chelsea fan blog linked each Chelsea player to a classic of Soviet cinema:

Cech – The Diamond Arm – Gaidai 1968
That double save in the 1st half and he saved a penalty

Essien – The Steamroller and the Violin –Takovsky 1960
The violin sang sweetly for a time but there was only ever going to be one winner in that collision.

Carvalho – The Humpbacked Horse Ivanov-Vano 1947
Not always pretty but very effective. Tackle on Ronaldo revealed a disdain for show ponies. Along with JT held it together when times were hard in that first half. A true great. He has to stay.

Terry – Moscow Does not Believe in Tears – 1979 Menshov
There is nothing we can say. An immense performance.

Cole A – Painful Indifference – 1983 Sokurov
Indifferent to that ankle, he got on with it, closing Hargreaves out and pinning Brown back second half

Makalele – The Nutcracker – Stepantsev 1973
Well you saw the state of Schole’s head. Integral part of a midfield that dominated the 2nd half and ET. A true ballbreaker.

Cole J – Adventures of a Dentist – Klimov 1965
Of late Joe has spent too much time in the chair but last night after half time he got the mask on, the drill going and inflicted some real pain.

Ballack – The Great Citizen 1938
His shooting was not his best but along with Lamps he took them apart. Towering strength.

Lampard – The Enchanted Boy 1955 – Polkovnikov/Snezhko-Blotskaya
Yes he can deliver in the big games, unlike some.

Malouda – The Alive and the Dead – 1964
Has come back from the dead and was very alive 2nd half when we started overrun them in midfield. Think he will do well next season as he seems to be settling.

Drogba – Irony of Fate – 1975 Ryazanov/Petrov
Yes I know I should have selected The Idiot 1958 but that would have been too simplistic a summation of such an enigma. It can’t really end like this can it?

Subs:

Belletti – Queen of the Gypsies – 1975 Loteanu –
Seems like he’ll be on the move again.

Anelka – At Home among Strangers – 1974 Mikhalkov
But is he?

Kalou – Hedgehog in the Fog – 1975 Norshteyn
A prickly customer for defenders but can he find the net? Good penalty under pressure.

2 thoughts on “Soviet Cinema and Soccer”

  1. This ranks up there as one of the most confounding posts ever. I say so with great, great respect. That said, I did by chance see the shoot-out for the Chelsea/Manchester finals, and it was exciting, even for a non-fan, clueless about the players and their potential links to Soviet cinematic history.

  2. I can see that. My post was more about grief management (my own) than enlightenment. I must say that I do like the idea that there is this cinema studies guy somewhere, probably writing a Ph.D on Soviet cinema, who just sat down with the Chelsea roster and linked movies to players.

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