Hey, does anyone want to post anything about the late Ismail Merchant? I have little if anything interesting to say about the fellow. I did like “Maurice” though I don’t recall much of it.
See?
Hey, does anyone want to post anything about the late Ismail Merchant? I have little if anything interesting to say about the fellow. I did like “Maurice” though I don’t recall much of it.
See?
apparently he was a spectacular cook. i liked “remains of the day” quite a lot. and “in custody” is not bad either (this one he directed i think).
how about a series on filmmakers who were/are spectacular cooks? followed by one on those who are expert model train builders?
Peter Greenaway is most likely an excellent cook.
Cassavetes’ Tuna Surprise
1 lb. thin noodles
2 cans mushroom soup, but not that fucking Campbells shit
Jesus Christ, how about some fucking flavor? Salt to taste.
No tuna. How about a piece of my heart?
Cook it your own damn self.
Orson Welles’s “Best Roast Turkey”:
Rinse the outside and cavities of a 16 lb. Butterball under cold, running water. Cut away any fat remaining on the bird and eat immediately. Place the turkey on several layers of paper towels to drain. Using additional paper towels, pat the outside and cavities dry. Stuff with chopped celery, bread crumbs, mushrooms, italian sausage, and 300 feet of footage from “Don Quixote.” Cook for 6 hours at 325 degrees. Eat whole.
Wow. I am in awe of you two.
David Fincher’s BLT:
4 slices of whole wheat bread: toast heavily until you see the faintest whiffs of smoke.
14 slices of bacon. The room should be filled with the smell of burning fat.
Slice one ripe tomato.
Slice finger.
Go to bathroom for band-aid.
Avoid looking in bathroom mirror at figure behind you picking up your knife
Do not complete sandwich – place on heap of unfinished film projects.
George Lucas’ Beef Wellington:
Take one 7 lb filet mignon (whole). Sear outside until well browned. Coat in sautéed, chopped, portabella mushrooms. Glaze with truffle oil. Wrap with puff pastry. Cook at 300 degrees for 1 ½ hours until medium rare (or to desired doneness). Remove from oven and cover thoroughly with used motor oil so as to render inedible. Serve immediately.
michelangelo antonioni’s tuna tartare:
chop tuna
put monica vitti in front of it
move slowly around it
david cronenberg’s seasonal surprise:
buy genetically modified corn and subject to microwave radiation till it grows a turkey’s head. cause “turkey” head to explode when touched by diner’s fork.
Vincent Gallo’s “Pig in a Blanket”:
1 dzn. all-beef franks
1 container of Pillsbury crescent roll dough
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Take off all clothing. Remove dough from container and spread over face to form death mask. Stick head in oven until dough is a flaky golden brown. Carefully remove death mask and place on greased cooling rack for fifteen minutes. Remove franks from wrapping. Open window and throw them at the Puerto Ricans marching down Fifth Avenue. Using a camera placed exactly one inch above the coffee table, film yourself interviewing death mask.
another George Lucas recipe:
open a can of processed cheese
collect a billion dollars
another Cassavettes:
Where’s the bourbon? Don’t put any goddamm ice in the glass!
Peckinpah Chicken Delight:
shoot the head off a chicken, half buried in the ground, out of boredom and futility
Ask it how it feels to be so goddamn right, to do its killin’ with the law’s arms around it?
pause for brief lyrical interlude with Stella Stevens and a bathtub
resume by pinning carcass to chopping board with crossbow bolt, in slow motion
shotgun blasts to the chest; fill wound with rosemary,stick of butter, lemon slices, garlic
Beans, Beans, Corn, Beans, Beans….
Douse it in a bottle of tequila
Place in a large roasting pan so chicken does not touch sides.Roast at 500 degrees for 15 minutes then reduce heat to 425. Cook for about 20 minutes per pound. Baste every 20 minutes or so.
It ain’t like it used to be, but it’ll do.